Brenda Watson
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Brenda Watson

When I retired from being a Junior School Teacher in 1993 I joined the Wakefield U3A Yorkshire Dialect Group. I enjoy writing poems and reading other peoples' Yorkshire Dialect work, and I hope dialects never get swamped by so called 'correct speech'.


T’Airdressers by Brenda Watson

A wont reight struck on 'ah A lukked
A wanted ter show sum flair
An' wot A thowt A'd do ter start
Wor re-arrange mi 'air

So A tuk t'plunge 'n med a date
Ter 'ev mi 'air style changed
Ter 'ev it cut 'n shaped 'n curled
In general re-arranged

T'young woman weshed mi 'air ter start
Wi a special new shampoo
While it wor wet she trimmed it
Then she telled mi wot she'd do

She'd comb it back 'n roller it
An' then it cud bi dried
An' after that she'd brush it aht
An' mek it stick aht wide

Well that sahnded fine ter me
So A sed "That'll bi aireet"
A watched 'er pur all t'rollers in
Mi 'ead wont ate a seet

She teed a 'airnet rahnd mi 'ead
An' shoved mi under t'drier
It wor wahrm at fust 'n then red 'ot
A thowt A'd set o' fire

A shahted "Cum 'n turn t'eat dahn
A feel A'm bahn ter dee"
She did just that A'm pleeased ter say
Wot a relief ter me

An' wen mi 'air wor dry at last
She tuk all t'rollers aht
She brushed mi 'air an' combed it thru
She din't are faff abaht

She smothered it wi lacquer then
It med mi coff 'n sneeze
An' won A lukked i' t'mirror
Well A cudn't believe mi ees

She'd cut 'n messed 'n curled 'n dried
She'd med mi 'ead fair sooar
But mi 'air din't luk ner different nah
Ner wor it did afoar